AUTHORS NOTE: Writing this churned up untamed emotions in me. I called my therapist. I wanted to make sure it was emotionally healthy before posting it. I want to encourage readers, not drag them into my past. When my wife read it, she said it stirred in her much of the pain we had experienced during the time in our “wilderness”. My emotional floodgate opened after she said this. I’m grateful it did, because it was the start of a three-day discussion, allowing us to attend, befriend and surrender to those big emotions we felt. It was a hard weekend, but proof of a lesson we’ve learned; just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean it’s bad.
So, on my therapist’s recommendation, the note above is for you, but so is what is written below; be encouraged:
PREFACE
“It has been said that those of us who write books are trying to write ourselves into a better life, that our writing is aspirational—we aspire to live into the truths we write about.”
– Dallas Willard
I was a self-focused leader.
Then, I hit “white-water” and my journey of becoming a virtuoso leader began.
It all started on the corner of 63rd and Madison in New York City. I walked from my office in mid-town, to my hotel on the upper east side, It was a clear February day in 2016. I was at the top of my game, 54 years old, a founder and CEO of one of the most successful start-up investment management firms in the world. I had accomplished more worldly success than anyone in my family, and I was proud of that fact.
A few weeks earlier I had entertained clients at dinner and, rather than spending the night and taking a flight the next day, I flew private, an expense I justified so I could sleep in my own bed.
Taking off from the Westchester airport the Cessna Citation banked over Manhattan showing off the lights of the greatest city in the world. I gazed out the window and sipped a glass of scotch. “Pretty good for a C-student from Minneapolis – look where I am and what I’ve done!” This was my thought and I now believe it was the tipping point in my life.
There is a story in the Bible about a king named Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon, who surveyed his kingdom and said a similar thing, and as a result, lost his kingdom. Like him, I was about to have my kingdom taken away from me and be led into a wilderness for a time until I realized, like he did, that GOD is able to humble the proud.
Back on the corner of 63rd and Madison, I was dressed for New York, in what I used to refer to as, “White House attire,” smoking a $50 cigar. I was thinking about the meeting I had just left, with the NetJets rep. I was going to take a fractional ownership of a Cessna Citation, and sign a sizable check that went with it, but for some reason I hesitated, deciding to sleep on it one more night before committing. As I waited for the light to change, I wondered why I was hesitating. Then, I heard a voice in my head, it shook me. The voice was as clear as if the person next to me at the corner was speaking, the voice said, “this isn’t it”.
I had heard it two other times in my life, the same voice, and each time it was followed by a significant change to my circumstances. Immediately, it triggered the trauma of those two memories. I was shaken.
I didn’t sleep well that night.
The next day I was unexpectedly summoned, to the HQ of our parent and partner by my boss, their CEO. There, she made the first move which led to the end of the company I had started 25 years earlier.
I spent the next eight-months fighting their efforts, but they were bigger, stronger, and more liquid than we were, they wanted what we had built, but not us not me and in the end they had better lawyers. So, on December 31, 2016, we closed our doors and for the next two-months, I did something I never imagined doing; I wound-down my life’s work and my dream.
I walked out of my office for the last time on February 28, 2017, almost one year after hearing that voice say to me, “this isn’t it.”
As I stepped into the parking garage and walked to my car, I heard the voice again; “you are stepping into a wilderness that will last for seven-years.”
This time, alone in the garage I yelled out loud, “No F****** way, I will never accept that!”
I stepped into the ring that day and began to fight back – what did I have to lose? I had already lost everything; or so I thought.
What I now know is what I believed had happened TO me really happened FOR me; what I saw as my greatest defeat was not a defeat but a transition to a new beginning.
I learned an eternal truth: Life is a cycle, from CAPTIVITY into WILDERNESS to our PROMISED LAND. This CYCLE plays out in the life of every human being. Every one of us is unique, formed by our Creator to do a unique and specific work. That work requires an anchored identity, a secure attachment, completed maturity and strong (VIRTUOUS) character.
Lacking any of these attributes results in a type of CAPTIVITY that will keep us from becoming all we were created to be, and it will prevent us from experiencing the abundant life we were created to live.
To anchor our identity, secure our attachment, complete our maturity, and grow virtuous character requires a WILDERNESS. A solo journey; a journey within. There is no other way.
But for those who commit to the journey, in the end, when you step into your promised land, you will understand just as I do now, “the destination was worth the climb.”
My first book, PRO LEADERSHIP, Establishing Credibility, Building Your Following & Leading With Impact. Andrew Wyatt (Morgan James, 2021) was written from my lessons learned from CAPTIVITY. It is a framework, a strategy, and tactics; what a pro-leader does.
These words will be the PREFACE to my second book with a working manuscript title: WISDOM FROM THE WILDERNESS, the Forging of a Virtuoso Leader, PRO LEADERSHIP, BOOK TWO.
Just as a computer requires a software operating system, humans do too. Book one was written from my old operating system, ASW 1.0, It failed under pressure, and could never enter my “promised land”. To go there required an operating system upgrade. I will be forever grateful for the man who said, “Andy, it doesn’t have to be this way. You need a new Operating System; what got you here, won’t get you there.” Mike was a former Tech titan, who had experienced a similar loss and pain I had, so he had credibility with me, he also loved me enough to speak the truth, the last 10%.
So, WISDOM FROM THE WILDERNESS, is from my new perspective, my new operating system, ASW 2.0.
Book one was what a pro leader does, book two is who a pro leader is. My aim is to guide leaders from success to significance; from doing to being.
This lesson is the seed that became my leadership philosophy-VIRTUOSO LEADERSHIP, character driven Level-5 Leadership. It anchors my Flagship Product, System and Framework: Mastering the 4 Cornerstones of a Prosperous Business.
My wilderness experience taught me that who I am is more important than what I do. I believe this is true for you too, and my hope is that reading this will encourage and equip you to live from this truth.
Thanks for joining me on the journey of VIRUTOSO LEADERSHIP.
Andy Wyatt
May 21, 2025